Her eyes well with tears as she gazes at the beautiful sunset that lay before her. It brings back memories when she shared that sight with someone special all those years ago. Not understanding the pain which she felt, she let the tears fall freely, listening to the song that always touched her soul and let her innermost feelings come through. Why was she feeling this way? No answers to many questions but she just wants to let herself feel for once, enough of the numbness, enough of being strong for the world, she wants to let it all out, cry.
She lets her heart go back to the time when she felt true happiness, being her true self, living life for no one but herself. 12 years ago, in this very place. It is no wonder why she is always hit with a pang of nostalgia when she visits. She still remembers where she lived, her friends, her independence and how she was figuring her life out slowly but surely. Her path was set, or so she thought. She had nearly forgotten her life back home where her upbringing was completely contradictory to whom she was. The day came when she had to leave this beautiful life to the reality that awaited her back home. With a heavy heavy heart, she boarded the plane and bid farewell to what could have been…
And now, 12 years on, she realizes that what could have been will always remain a mystery, a lifelong regret for not being strong enough to find out, but she has that strength now to move on and make the most of what she has.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Kachimushi (ancient Japanese for Dragonfly)
As I have named my blog after the beautiful dragonfly, I thought it best I start by dedicating my first post to a symbolic story that reflects life as I see it...Change is inevitable and always positive, even if it doesn't appear so in the beginning.
The dragon fly is symbolic for change and being okay with it. Here is a story: The Dragonfly Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions. Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever. Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top. When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying. So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed. Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended. But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!
The dragon fly is symbolic for change and being okay with it. Here is a story: The Dragonfly Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions. Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever. Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top. When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying. So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed. Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended. But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!
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